plot twist: santa actually brings you the naked celebrity you asked for and you have to awkwardly unwrap them in front of your entire family
Totally worth it.
My mom read this over my shoulder and asked if I would get Misha, so I said yes and she nodded in approval.
when youre near a concert youre going to and you can literally spot who is going to the concert or not from like their hair or something it’s literally like spot the emo kids
(Source: wazowskl, via everythingloved-everythinglost)
my brother yelled “HOLLA” at me and he was like “you’re supposed to say holla back” and I immediately replied “I ain’t no holla back girl” and it’s an hour later and I’m still laughing
so apparently i can’t get pregnant because i’m a boy or something?? wtf
don’t let people force their beliefs on you
how to stay warm in your freezing bedroom:
put on a comfy sweater
put a sweatshirt on over it
put leggings on
put sweatpants on over them
4 pairs of fuzzy socks
light your bed on fire
and a partridge in a pear tree
Pin me down and gently drag your lips and fingertips all over my skin. Put your mouth on my neck and use your teeth to send chills down my spine. Climb on top of me. Look deep into my eyes. Press that cunning smile against my wanting lips. Bite my lip. Make my whimper. Pull my hair. Help me let out some sweet little moans for you. Whisper in my ear everything you could do to me, everything you want to do to me…then don’t. Make me want it. Make my body beg for it.